Being a caregiver for a loved one with a disability or illness can be very challenging, and it can bring out some of the worst in you. You may feel like you have a deep connection with the person you care for, but you may also have conflicting feelings, such as anger and love.
What triggers one person may not be the same for another. There is no set formula for what you should or shouldn’t feel. Because of your own history and the complexity of your relationship, there is no limit to what you can feel.
Whether you want them to or not, emotions can arise. Knowing what kinds of feelings to expect and how to manage them can help you feel better.
Common Emotions Caregivers Feel
Anger
Being under-appreciated or feeling trapped can trigger anger. You might also lose your temper from time to time in your role or feel close to it. Especially if you deal with triggering circumstances, such as dealing with a patient with dementia, these feelings of anger might be difficult to suppress. Try to forgive yourself for feeling this way, and take a break from the situation to allow yourself to calm down.
Guilt
Many caregivers feel guilty about not doing enough to help their loved ones. However, this doesn’t help your loved one or yourself. You can try to go easy on yourself if you feel that you’re not doing enough. If you think about how much of a difference you make each day, then imagine what might go on if you were out of the picture.
How Can Caregivers Manage Their Emotions?
Being able to identify what triggers a feeling can help you manage your emotions. If you’re worried that caregiving will take over your life, try taking part in social activities and staying active.
If you can’t afford to take breaks, try to schedule them. Ask your friends and family for help. Sometimes, a community group or faith-based organization can provide a break for you. Talk to them about how they can help you recharge.
Ask your friends and family for support. Talk to them about how they can help you manage your feelings. You can also ask a therapist or a support group facilitator to help you feel better. Support groups can be found at various locations, such as senior centers, hospitals, and houses of worship. They’ll allow you to talk about your experience and share tips with other caregivers.